Cross-Bearing Fathers

Anyone who can look at reality and see its many opposites; that is to say, those who can see life’s thesis as well as antithesis, the “yes” as well as the “no” of life, should have no difficulty understanding the tension existing between the Old Testament and the New Testament.

If I were to categorize both of these Testaments, especially for the commemoration of Father’s Day, then I would classify the Old Testament as being like a father and the New Testament as being like a mother. The character and disposition of the Old Testament seem to resemble those qualities we commonly ascribe to a man. We do not have to read the pages of the Old Testament very long before we find God making such strict statements as: If you obey My commandments, I’ll give you the land and you will live, but if you disobey, you will die. In 1 Kings God is depicted as saying, “You have set free a man I had determined should die. Therefore it is your life for his life, your people for his people.” So the Old Testament seems to project the stern authority usually associated with a father.

We know the Law was handed down by Moses but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. So when I read the pages of the New Testament, I begin to understand what a mother is. I see great emphasis placed upon care-giving, grace, love and forgiveness. Someone asked Jesus how many times should a brother be forgiven and Jesus responds with seventy times seven. You remember the story about the woman caught in the act of adultery. The people wanted to stone her to death, but Jesus intervened and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Of course, they all had to walk away.

What I am suggesting is that the New Testament has the grace and compassion and fragility of a mother, whereas the Old Testament exemplifies the no-nonsense authority of our Father God. They both compliment and balance each other.

Yet, when we look at society today, this balance between mother and father tend to lean more to one side than the other. We tend to emphasize mothers to a greater degree than we do fathers. Much of what we hear about fathers is negative and it is a little disconcerting because if there is anything I learned while working in the child welfare system is that there seems to be just as many trifling mothers as there are fathers.

If we desire a wholesome society, then we must somehow put in balance the father and the mother. Like the Old and New Testaments, there has to be a balance of authority and grace, there has to be a balance of man and woman.

There is something inherently wrong in the way we relate to one another because somewhere in life’s equations, we have not always appreciated the importance of a father. Now, do not get me wrong. I am not talking about men who only procreate. I am not talking about those irresponsible deserters and those who do not have anything to contribute to their family but a dollar and even that oft-time have to be forced. I am talking about fathers.

We know that when God made man and woman, He made us different; not only physically but in the total make-up of our being because we realize that we have other needs besides the physical that must be met. Thus, there must be something in the equation that necessitates a unique giving and receiving characteristic that belong to each gender. Yet, there is a great injustice; it appears, imposed against fathers. Of course, in too many instances it’s understandably so because in many of our homes, if it had not been for a strong woman, a great many of us would not be here today.

Nevertheless, it is time for us to now rectify the situation and move on from here. It is time for us to put the balance back into the equation. And when it comes to our society, we need to somehow and someway balance the scale of authority and grace. We must recognize and appreciate the value of and need for fathers.

Sometimes I think about fathers, who like Simon of Cyrene have had to bear crosses. There are, and always has been, real fathers in this world and I thank God for them. There are men, who lost their wives, and had to rear families by themselves; men who were deserted by their spouses but who hung in there for the sake of the children; men who had to bear crosses, men who have had to be mothers as well as fathers. I know some men who had never fathered children, married women with children and took the load upon their shoulders and have tried to be a father to them. This is what Simon of Cyrene did. He took the Cross of Christ upon his shoulders.

It is little wonder then, that this graphic detail recorded by Mark has caught the imagination of Christians all through the centuries. Simon has become the symbol of the great company of those who have been compelled to carry a cross. Simon, a father, was simply passing through with no connection to the tragedy that was happening. Then suddenly he was drafted by a power he could not resist, into the hard role of cross-bearer.

Every detail of that day in Simon’s life has been paralleled in the life of millions of people who, along some Via Dolorosa (path of grief and sorrow), have been compelled to get under heavy burdens that were not of their own making. Certainly, a large group has been recruits who were compulsorily drafted into the armed forces and who like Simon, had to take up the “cross” of war.

Of course, there is always the host of the oppressed, the downtrodden of all ages, the slaves, the hated, compelled to bear the heavy cross inflicted on them by men who have held power in their hands. And in every case it has been, so to speak, a crucifixion of Jesus in which they have been compelled to take part. Their suffering too has come from the collective sins of those who have set themselves against the love and brotherhood revealed and taught by Jesus of Nazareth.

But one of the most outstanding things that makes what Simon did so outstanding and unforgettable is the fact that he did not know who he was helping. He had no idea who this Man’s Daddy was. Watch how you treat the children; you do not know who his or her Father is.

To all parents, be reminded that your sons and daughters do not belong to you. God has only lent them to you for a little while. They belong to God. So know that you do not have to worry about how you are going to feed them. You do not have to worry about how you are going to send them to school. You do not have to worry about the dark roads ahead because God is our Father.

When Simon left home that day, he never knew that he was going to play such an important part in our world’s history. I do not know what kind of cross the Lord may present to you. But what I do know from my own experiences is that when the road gets rough and the load weighs you down, God will compel the Simon’s of the world to your side to help carry your cross. He is our Father. He brings the balance in our lives.